BY YASMIN HASAN
(Special to Simerg)

Written over the past 15-20 years, this small collection of my poems seeks to convey the essence of my doubts, fear as well as hopes during some of the most challenging periods in my life. I should reiterate, however, that the power of grace, illumination and love that I have felt in my heart and soul throughout these years, has been the overriding factor that has granted me immense courage and strength, and not to have fallen into a trap of despondency, which is almost impossible to come out of!

I have particularly felt and enjoyed the continuous presence of Mawlana Hazar Imam, especially since 1994, who I feel has accompanied me on my journey, as he does with all his beloved murids or spiritual children living on this earth.

I believe the mix of messages that I convey will resonate with many others as they read through my poetry.

_________

Thank You Lord

It was your didar in 1994
That changed my life forever
Since then, every day has been a challenge
Something to look forward to
Thank you for all the love and support
I received from my family
I know it was you who sent them.

I now ask you to grant me
The faith to see you in everyone and everything
All I want is to love you more
To learn to trust in you
Give me the patience so I can learn to forgive
Give me humility in my heart
Continue blessing me and all those I love
Help me to serve others
And find a meaning to my life.

In my old age to come
I shall need you even more
Stand by my  side and do not let go
For it is in  that trust and faith
I can continue to look forward to the tomorrows.

~~~

The Aga Khan

You are the Aga Khan
The King of Kings
A direct descendant of Prophet Mohammed
A Guide on earth for the blessed ones

The murids know you
All the work and miracles you do
Now during the didars all over the world
The non-Ismailis are seeing you clearly

The magical wand you waved over them
All taken in by your charm
The happiness you gave them
The affection you showered them

Touched and mesmerised they were
The Light you shone on them
You touched teach and every soul
And left a glow in their hearts 

By a look or a word
Your humour and emotion
Your concern for all
That moment never to be forgotten

The message to us
Was clear as day light
Love and help one another
Brothers and sister we all are

Help me to see and understand
To follow your Farmans
See each and every person
As a brother or sister
And follow your Farmans

~~~

The Struggle

The outer struggle is over
Surely it was your hand over me
To help me achieve this
Blessed I am with comfort
And a good living

The inner struggle continues on
The restless soul that I am
Continues to be restless
No matter how hard I try
The turmoil within me seems just as big as ever

Why cannot I find that lasting inner peace I seek
Why can I not be one with you
When that is all I long for
When is this struggle going to end
Will it be in this life time

Do not torment me like this
I seek your help
Are you not listening
All doors to you appear locked
Help me unlock it
So I can be one with you

You are the giver and the helper
Help me with this inner struggle
I cannot understand your ways
I long to be with you
I want this inner lasting peace
In this world and the next
Help me end this struggle now

~~~

Fine Balance

Thank you for another day
My life hanging in the balance
By a fine thread
A pull in either direction
Between life and death
Such is your power
For you are the control switch
Of all the universes

I stood aside and watched
Myself going to a funeral
It was my funeral
And I was present
But with your power
I am here to witness
Myself living another day

I now wonder and think
Are you trying to tell me something
For you have blessed me with another day
I am going to live it well
You are the taker and the giver
Do not test me anymore
For I do know your power

You had my life
Balancing on a string
Hanging by a fine thread
A pull in either directions
Life on one side
Death on the other
Thank you for this day
I shall live it well

~~~

Inevitable

Today the funeral ceremony was disturbing
Seeing things with a different light
The body in the coffin was my age
The reality of death so real

Everyone of  us will pass this way
To taste death and enter another world
The crossing may be  difficult
So  help me across
I have full faith that you will be there

We live as if we are here forever
We go around with airs and pride
Thinking we are in control of our lives
We are born with a potential to grow
Worldly and spiritually
And most of us depart disappointed
Realising at the last moment  we could have done better

We spent more time caring and living for others
Sacrificing  most of our time for them
Till you ache inside
Forgetting the soul within us

One day you wake up and realise
Most of the people are selfish
Your energy could have been spent better
Caring for your soul
Detach yourself and be free

Stop crying for those who
never really cared
For if they cared
They would not want to see you cry.

Cry  for the love of God
So that you can be closer to Him
In this world and
Inshallah in the next.

~~~

Spring

January is almost over
I smell spring in the air
I look out of the window
I see daffodils coming up
A sure sign that spring is in the air

I imagine the sun on my face
The smell of grass in my hair
I see leaves and buds on trees
And hedges beginning to grow
A sure sign that spring is in the air

I see all the colours in the garden
And dew drops on the leaves
Flowers in blue, purple, pink and white
Frogs leaping in and out of pond
A sure sign that spring is in the air

I imagine the smell of barbecues
Children’s screams of excitement
Men washing cars and
Women gossiping over the fence
A sure sign that spring is in the air

Spring I welcome you
After the long winter
Oh! I feel the spring in the air

~~~

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE – DAUGHTER

You were a beautiful baby
I can see your every year in front of me
Every year different to the last
You have made me proud
I could not have loved you more
Had I given birth to you myself

 I gave you love
When you needed love
I gave you comfort
When you needed comfort
I gave you my shoulder to cry
When you needed help
I would have given you my soul
Had you asked
All that was unconditional 

My love for you was unconditional
But now and again I feel apprehensive
A little nervous for you and me
Have you missed your family togetherness
Would you blame me later
I did not ask for you
You were just there like a much-needed gift
A bond made in heaven 

I have waited for this day
Dreamed of this day
Prayed for this day
No prayer was complete
If you were not in it
And that day has arrived
You are getting engaged
Your big day around the corner
Always wanting the best for you
Always there to cushion the hurt
And share the good time 

You are on a journey
A whole new life ahead
A new beginning
So much to look forward to
I shall continue watching you from afar
But there when you need me

~~~

LITTLE BABY KIAN – GRANDSON

A gift from heaven
Arrived in the spring
Like a breath of fresh air
It is the Autumn of my life
So blessed I am
To have seen you
You are like a drop of fresh water
In the middle of an ocean
Like the reflection of the moon
In the still lake
Like the rays of the sun
On a cold day

Little Baby Kian
You are the very air
I want to breathe
You are the sunshine
I want to see daily
You are the very sight
I want to see
When I open my eyes

Little Baby Kian
You have me around your little finger
You can win us all
With a beautiful smile
Your cheeky little glance
Your paws on my face
Melting my old heart

Little Baby Kian
It is good to know you are there
For me to look forward to the tomorrows
Thank you for all the joys
you have brought to me
Making my dream of being a Granny
For at times I feel vulnerable
Not being able to see tomorrow
As clearly as yesterday

Little Baby Kian
With god’s grace I may
See you growing up
Growing into a handsome young man

Little Baby Kian
You will always remain my little baby
No matter how grown up you will become.

~~~

MY 65TH BIRTHDAY

As I reflect over my life
Sitting on the beach
My 65th birthday around the corner
Wondering what does the future hold
Still a lot to achieve
But a lot to be thankful for

So many happy memories
O Lord you have spoilt me
I wake every morning to embrace another day
And all that it will bring
But whatever it is
I will face it
As long as you are by my side

I will draw comfort
Knowing you are by my side
I have full faith
You will not forsake me
Remind me every second
That you are within me
And I will face another day
With open arms

My life, like a jigsaw puzzle,
All coming together
To see a complete picture
Thank you,
Thank you,
Thank you

~~~

DREAMS

All my life is about you
To see you happy
All my dreams are about you.
Will I see the end fulfilled.
Will I live to see the end
Or will the end be different
To my expectation
Disappointments are a part of life
My dreams and heart
Shattered by a few moments
Shattered by a few words.
I have minced those few words
Until it has become a weight
On my delicate heart

~~~

Peace

Today I thought I was at peace
Yet my heart is heavy
The ache in my chest ever-present
The eyes looking for you in the darkness
Tears for you like a fountain
My love for you endless
And yet I am in the deepest ocean of sorrow
What am I looking for
I have found you and yet
I am looking
Are you not within me
Have you deserted me
Pray that not be the case

~~~

What More  Could I Want

What more do I want
I have you to listen
When I am talking
What could be more greater 

These times I spent with you
In prayers and thoughts
Burdening you with problems
Who else can I go to 

So much to tell you
My thoughts you already know
Blind faith that I have
Bringing me close to you 

Times that I feel so vulnerable
Seeing the world around me
Seeing the people being judged
By the worldly possessions they acquire 

So much of selfishness
So much of greed
So little focus to the person within
So little time to give for others 

Little do they know
Besides worldly happiness
There is so much more
Much much more

Date posted: April 4, 2015.

Copyright: Yasmin Hasan, England.

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About the writer: Yasmin Hasan has been writing poetry since she was young. In 1994, following Mawlana Hazar Imam’s visit to the United Kingdom, her life took a major turn, when she started dedicating more time towards her spiritual well-being as well as finding the time to serve as a volunteer within the Ismaili community. Some years later, she found her life hanging in the balance from a serious illness, and it was then that she wrote one of her poems, Fine Balance. Undaunted, and with full faith, she was inspired to compose more poems, some of which are published in this short anthology.

Simerg invites Ismaili authors to submit their poetry for publication on this website. Please visit Art|Poetry.

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